And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
