if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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