So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
