Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
