can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
