btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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