i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You took a bar mat shot.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
