i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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