She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
