Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
