Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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