these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
