Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
