I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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