my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
