Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
