We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
