do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
