why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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