Whoa Z and x make the same sound
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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