So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
