Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
