Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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