I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
