I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
