thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We talked him into tasing himself.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
