He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
