She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
