you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
