honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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