Who wears a wallet chain?!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
