but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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