Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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