i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
