Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
