Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize