I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Are we still banned from the library?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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