I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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