When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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