i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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