Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
