hotel room ftw
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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