it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
