sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
