Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I would fuck him just for his dog
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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