so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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