We won't sleep together?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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