woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
