okay pat passed out under dana's car
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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