Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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