No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
