btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
