My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He passed out mid-signature
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
