Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
