coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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