Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
