I want to walk on stilts...naked
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
