Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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