I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
