hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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