you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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