I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
