i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
